Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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