oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
