Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
