hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
pop tarts are not kleenex
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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