no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
