like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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