remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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