No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
someone owes me an orgasm
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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