but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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