That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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