She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
