Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
