everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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