Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize