I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
