Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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