You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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