i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
