ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
50% drunk capacity currently
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
