She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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