Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize