hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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