he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
