I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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