I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My pussy is not your playground.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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