i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
