i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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