I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
