Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
