You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
