break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
