I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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