we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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