this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I deserve this hangover.
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