Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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