Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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