Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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