wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize