Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
