Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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