fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
