just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
