at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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