There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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