I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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