you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
