I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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