just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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