Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
