We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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