We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
