Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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