playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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