Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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