it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she looked like the before picture.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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