You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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